It’s gettin’ hot in herrrre

Sorry, I had to…

Let’s talk about temperature, and the way your body responds to it, including the IBS symptoms it provokes.

I worked out last week for the first time after my orange belt test, and I must say, my body temperature got pretty darn hot. I had to pee, and can I tell you that I thought it was boiling, it was so hot. Turns out my body temperature had the same effect on my poo, and I ended up having one of those exploding poops, but this time at the temperature of hot volcano magma.

Image Credit & Copyright: Martin Rietze

Image Credit & Copyright: Martin Rietze

Now, basically this entire week it’s been 90-100 degrees every day in Los Angeles (worse if you live in the valley, but I’m not that dumb). As you can imagine, it’s been a week of volcanic eruptions out my bottom. Will it return to “normal” after the temperatures go down? I hope so, and it might prove my new theory that increased temperature exacerbates IBS diarrhea symptoms.

The other thing I want to touch on is what you put in your  body, or more specifically, the temperature at which you put things in your body. When you put ice on a sore muscle, there’s that instant where you’re like “AAAAAAAAAAGH THAT’S F*ING COLD!” Guess what? The same thing happens when you drink a cold beverage.

Don't try this at home!

Don’t try this at home!

I don’t usually make ice anymore because I try not to use it. Yes, I will drink cold-ish water, but I definitely don’t make it colder with ice. Room-temperature-ish water is best, especially when you’re in the midst of IBS hell. If you’ve ever chugged cold water, you can feel the iciness just travel down your esophagus to your stomach, and I can’t say it’s a pleasant feeling. Well, your tum tum doesn’t like it!

To a lesser extent, drinking or eating super hot foods isn’t good for your belly either. I’m not sure  if the reaction is as violent as the drinking cold water thing, but a good medium temperature is just a better idea all around.

Have some soup? Blow on it. But I won’t be eating soup until it gets cooler outside. Cut it out, Santa Ana winds. My bowels beg you.

Photo: Notably Neurotic

Photo: Notably Neurotic

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